190011

Joke of the Day

"I am watching silence of the lambs for the first time and... I am **eating** this movie up."

"The completely inane bullshit I read on my phone doesn't deserve the super intense face I make while staring at it."

"Doc, I've got a problem... ...every morning at 8 sharp i poop... Doc: How is that a problem? Guy: ...I wake up at 9..."

"Sexism is wrong and being wrong is for women"

"Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!"

"Rumor has it Pedals the upright walking bear has been killed by a hunter. But, remains unseen."

"I learned about the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon last week and now it seems like everyone's talking about it."

"I want that ""Damn you are still together?"" Relationship!"

"I had sex with a can of Coke. The doctor told me that I had contracted... ...Genital Burpies."

"In life, sometimes it's not good to be very specific. For instance, it's okay to say ""I love kids"" but it's frowned upon to say ""I love 12 year olds."""