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Joke of the Day

"What do you see when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A flat miner. EDIT: spelling"

"One day I got this huge erection. I started running and hit a wall. You know what broke? My nose"

"What's the difference between a gay mustache and a straight mustache? The smell."

"If you're ever wondering what I'm thinking, there's about a 96% chance I'm thinking about what & when I'm going to eat next."

"Where can you find lubricant in the library? In the non-friction section."

"A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. Why? What happened at 8.30?'"

"I get SO ANGRY whenever I see someone with their wallet chained to their belt I can't fucking take it"

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. "

"What did the Mexican guy say when the two houses fell on him? Get off me homes."

"Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store? For the watch? Not really He knows nothing, you can only buy the watch online."