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Joke of the Day
"One day I got this huge erection. I started running and hit a wall. You know what broke? My nose"
Next Joke
"I finally figured out the secret to click bait."
"Active voice: I loved your book Passive voice: Your book was loved Passive-aggressive voice: I love how you felt the need to write a book"
"Probably the hardest part of being an adult is trying to come up with excuses to tell your friends about why you go to bed so early."
"Beltway Holdups"
"Me: What's the first step of fire safety? 4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously."
"A guy gans into the butcher's... ... and says ""Gie us a steak and kidley pie."" So the butcher laughs and goes ""You just said kidley."" And the goes ""Naw, I didley."""
"They're giving away Marshawn Lynch jerseys at my local sports shop. But I think I'll pass"
"I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic"
"David Attenborough voice ""Amazing. See how the youngest of the species always needs something when the mother is in the bathroom."""