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Joke of the Day

"Watched The Little Mermaid with my girl last night & realized that Aerial could be on an episode of Hoarders. : /"

"What starts with ""E"" and has only one letter in it? Envelope!"

"*comes into work with black eye* oh please I'm fine guys! But you shoulda seen the other guy. He was a cabinet door that i walked into"

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it date an emotionally available, age-appropriate, nice, single guy with a good job."

"just ordered so much food the delivery guy gave me four sets of utensils but it's okay I still love myself"

"What did the dyslexic person worship? Santa."

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? One goes... *WHACK*...""Dang it!"" And the other goes... ""Dang it!""...*WHACK*"

"If you feed me & have the heat on high, I will fall asleep on you. So to have a much more interesting date with me keep me hungry and cold"

"SiriusXM is broadcasting NASCAR because there's nothing more exciting than listening to people drive."

"Au Don't you dare downvote. That joke was pure gold."