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Joke of the Day

"Watched The Little Mermaid with my girl last night & realized that Aerial could be on an episode of Hoarders. : /"

"It's nice to feel wanted. Even if it's by the FBI."

"What do you call a Mexican on a hill? Gracias."

"God damn it Adolf... I told you to pass me the juice not gas the jews!"

"When asian people go on a merry go round... do they become disoriented?"

"I'm making a Band! I started a band called 999 Megabytes...we haven't gotten a gig yet."

"The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, ""Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"""

"What did the lumberjack see? He saw a tree."

"Why shouldn't you drink Diet Coke after having sex? Because then you'll have TWO aftertastes to get rid of!"

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field."