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Joke of the Day

"Why shouldn't you drink Diet Coke after having sex? Because then you'll have TWO aftertastes to get rid of!"

"I really want to see that movie about Tom Cruise But I don't think it's ever gonna come out"

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga..? POKER FACE ... BAHAHAHA!!!"

"A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walks into a bar He orders a beer"

"I'm the flower, you're the bee. Why don't you suck the sweet pollen right out of me?"

"I dropped my phone in the toilet, so I put it in a bowl of rice, and waited for the Asians to come and fix it."

"So I opened an egg today and something came out. That's the yolk."

"At the club, a 6'1"" girl was crying in my lap. I just kept petting her hair, pretending she was a sad giraffe. Win-win."

"Donald Trump is just like Megyn Kelly during sex. Always on top."

"Me: I have a younger sister but she's nothing like me. Him: Wow, she sounds perfect."