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Joke of the Day
"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field."
Next Joke
"Me: OMG I feel amazing! WebMD: sounds like cancer!"
"Why was the cow's house empty? She was moo-ving"
"History is his-story, rambled the tumblrina... where are the records of the deeds of women? that is a miss-story"
"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns... But I soon realized that toucan play at that game."
"Lazy thought by my girlfriend Her: ""Why is it Bees Knees, Why not Bees Nuts?"" (Deez nuts)"
"And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came in fifth and won a toaster."
"Tim Howard has been America's best goalkeeper since Sylvester Stallone in 1945."
"Q: How many believable competent ""just right for the job"" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: It's going to be a dark 4 years isn't it?"
"I haven't seen David Luiz this upset since Bart and Lisa got him sent to prison."