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Joke of the Day

"My wife gets kind of bitchy once a month. It usually lasts about 30 days."

"Why is it hard to sell bibles in Germany? Because it's a Nietzsche Market."

"Out of all the gruesome noises coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most troubling."

"Me: Why is gay marriage such an issue now-a-days? Friend: Because people are FUCKING ASSHOLES! This can be taken in two ways and both are correct."

"Why did the referee blow his whistle at the leper hockey game? There was a face off at centre ice."

"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years I don't have 2020 vision"

"Yea? Well who died & made you Batman? Oh crap..that's right. Bruce, I'm so sorry. Come on, dude, don't cry. Seriously, where you going?"

"Jared Fogle Of Subway Started and Ended His Career The Same Way. Trying to get into smaller pants."

"A-What's up? B(londe)-The ceiling..."

"Hellen Keller list!!"