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Joke of the Day

"A-What's up? B(londe)-The ceiling..."

"HOT SINGLES IN YOUR FANNYPACK WANT TO GO IN THE VENDING MACHINE."

"I finally figured out why a sneeze is the equivalent of 1/8th an orgasm... I could foresee something unpleasant and unavoidable, it's now over and I can get on with my day."

"I got a tattoo on my penis that just says ""OK"" But when I see your sister it says ""OKLAHOMA STATE UNIVERSITY"""

"A man asked for directions to the guillotine festival... It's just ahead."

"A man was recently admitted to the emergency room because of a tendency to talk with his hands too much. He was diagnosed with gesticular cancer."

"For some reason, Spanish-speaking visitors to Britain think we worship flight attendants... I suppose it's understandable given that our national airline is called British Heroes."

"Searched for a PI service in my area... Got a delicious apple in the correct geometric shape, but didn't really help me figure out who my wife was cheating on me with..."

"[spelling bee] Your word is 'mnemonic' ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Memory Needs Every Method Of Nurturing Its Capacity"

"A new source of electricity is found! Lincoln is is infinitely rolling in his grave right now. We can use that somehow."