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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a video game that gives cancer? Tombr Aider"

"My wife wanted to have sex in the back of the car..... So I got stuck driving her and her boyfriend around all night."

"Freud was wrong, I have no desire to sleep with my mom I'd bang the shit out of my aunt, though."

"When we catch the people who kill elephants & rhinos, can we pull all their teeth first?"

"In the Ben Affleck version, Batman's parents kill themselves."

"Me, December 2016: I'm going to buy this juicer and lose some weight in January Me, January 2017: I have eaten the juicer"

"Stop saying ""There's plenty of fish in the sea."" I'm sick of fish seducing all our human women!"

"How do you identify the head waitress at a restaurant? She's the one wearing knee pads."

"So, they're going to combine Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter into one website. It's going to be called ""YouTwitFace""."

"eer booze and fun!' 'Q: What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar? A: Ok you 2 dont start anything"