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Joke of the Day

"Me, December 2016: I'm going to buy this juicer and lose some weight in January Me, January 2017: I have eaten the juicer"

"Which kitchen appliance do surfers dislike most? The micro wave."

"What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ? Thanks I'll just have a sliver !"

"I moisturize my hands with KY gel... ...that way everybody gets a warm welcome."

"My laziness is exactly as the number 8. If it lays down, it becomes infinite."

"When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people."

"Women are natures version of the Rubiks cube."

"ME: Honey, I bought a Pet Rock WIFE: A WHAT? ME: Shhh, you'll make him nervous DWAYNE JOHNSON: *already peeing all over the carpet*"

"95% of every relationship is navigating the question ""Where should we eat?"" without it turning into World War III."

"My twitter crush just broke up with me for saying WWE wasn't real. The irony is not lost here."