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Joke of the Day

"ME: OMG I CAN'T BREATHE I ATE WAY TOO MUCH CALL A DOCTOR HER: do you want dessert? ME: ok, but just a small slice."

"""Here we are."" I thought we were going to the camoflauge store? This is just an empty field. ""No it's not."" Oh this place is good."

"I must have a great ass Because after leaving a conversation, I always hear someone mumble ""what an ass."""

"My neighbour has had a record 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. A stone's throw away in fact -StewartFrancis"

"Willie Nelson? (NSFW) What is the worst thing Willie Nelson could say to you while you are giving him a blowjob? I'm not really Willie Nelson"

"I'm pretty sure our nanny's grandmother has died like seven times now......"

"What did the pessimist say to the psychologist? Only the good die, Jung."

"What is white, floats, and says ""Boo""? A ghost boat."

"Let's get this out of the way now. Next Wednesday, the date will be 12-12-12. Happy?"

"Do you know why consuming ants is good for your health? It's because they have anty-bodies!"