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Joke of the Day

"Willie Nelson? (NSFW) What is the worst thing Willie Nelson could say to you while you are giving him a blowjob? I'm not really Willie Nelson"

"I froze some paint today. Now it's just one solid color."

"Password not accepted. I just decided to buy something on-line and I needed to create a new password. I used the word ""mypenis"" but it was not accepted. They said it needed to be longer."

"Make new friends by waking up strangers with forehead kisses after they've fallen asleep on the train."

"Why do mice have a hole in their bottoms? Because otherwise they would be unable to track movement and move the cursor in the computer screen."

"What do you call a ghost that stays out all night? Afresh air freak."

"Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion! "

"I think the face you make pre-sneeze is the same as when you orgasm."

"[describing criminal to sketch artist] No, his eyes were closer together than that, like a concussed mouse. He had a Spanish skeleton."

"What's the difference between a dog barking at the front door and a woman screaming at the back door? If you let the dog in, it will shut up."