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Joke of the Day

"What is white, floats, and says ""Boo""? A ghost boat."

"What does Sean Connery do with his quiche? He opensh hish doorsh with them."

"I earned a masters degree and a doctorate; I have $413.21 in assets. Weird Al Yankovic is worth 11 million. Kids, don't stay in school."

"Guy: What do you do? Me: I tell jokes on Twitter G:No, I mean, what do you do to support yourself? Me: I tell myself that they're good jokes"

"Waldo books are cute until u learn he owes $100,000 in unpaid child support & is wanted for arson"

"I bought a new boomerang... but I couldn't throw away my old one."

"Did you hear what is making the latest headlines? Corduroy pillows"

"I was watching tv with my mom & she was amazed a blind guy didn't care his son was missing & I was like outta sight outta mind am I right"

"Wow you changed your makeup in 16 different hot ways. And where did you learn those 8 moves that drove me wild *sees Cosmo on the table* ah"

"Whenever I shoot something into the trash, I yell ""Kobe!"" But then, my friend follows up by yelling ""Jack!"" I don't get what he's trying to say, but he sure is acting cheesy."