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Joke of the Day

"Old Macdonald had a really bad scrabble hand...... E - I - E - I - O....."

"I refuse to see movies that critics deem ""fun for the whole family,"" because a lot of our grandparents are pretty racist."

"Why did the police officer smell? Because he was on duty."

"""Our new model works 40 percent of the time. Best one, yet. Congratulations, everyone."" - CEO of automatic paper towel dispenser company"

"Oldie - -Communist China telegrams Soviet Russia Communist China: WE ARE OUT OF FOOD. SEND GRAIN Soviet reply: WE ARE ALSO OUT OF FOOD. TIGHTEN YOUR BELTS Communist China: SEND BELTS"

"How many calories do you get from eating pussy? Depends on which direction she wipes..."

"It's still Valentines day for another hour.. Roses are red Violets are blue No, they are violet FTFY"

"I went into a bar and ordered a Bin Laden Two shots and splash of water."

"What's the capital of Zimbabwe? Hyper-inflated."

"What did Horatio say to the pathological liar in CSI: Miami? Won't get fooled again!"