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Joke of the Day

"What did Horatio say to the pathological liar in CSI: Miami? Won't get fooled again!"

"Two jokes walk into a bar... Where's the punchline?"

"Sometimes I treat my depression, but other times we go dutch."

"Neighbor thinks I'm stalking her. Any time she hears a noise she is purified. Petrified! Sorry, not easy reading a diary thru binoculars."

"I like woman who are mentally stable and sexually unstable."

"Why did the octopus blush? He saw the bottom of the ocean"

"Mom called. She was worried. Thought maybe I moved because I haven't answered her email and she wouldn't know the new address to send it to."

"What's the most dangerous possession a gun nut will ever own? His car."

"Would've totally banged this chick at the bar, but I noticed she had a crooked pinkie toe. Better luck with someone without standards,babe."

"Masonry work is hard There's a lot of trowel and error."