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Joke of the Day

"I refuse to see movies that critics deem ""fun for the whole family,"" because a lot of our grandparents are pretty racist."

"When I'm home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know."

"You're so vain, you probably think me driving by your house 27 times at 2 a.m. wearing all black with binoculars is about you, don't you."

"Why don't girls where skirts in the winter? So they don't get chapped lips."

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van."

"What did the chronic masturbator say to his ex-girlfriend? I'm nuttin' without you."

"Kids: Dad why have you never taken us swimming [thinking of an excuse because I can't swim] Me: I got killed by a shark once"

"Whoa there, pregnancy test. You just tell us yes or no and we'll decide if it's positive or negative."

"Karma whoring is bad. Upvote if you agree."

"2 fish in a tank, one fish looks at the other and say's ""do you know how to drive this thing?"""