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Joke of the Day

"""For people that are hungry but would also like something to drink."" Pitch for Soup"

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"People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking."
"A baker was killed by a falling metal pan... you could say his death was filled with irony. Ba-Dum-Tsss"
"Some of you should not be allowed to procreate and if you have to google what procreate means, then I'm talking about you in particular."
"Pig Breeding by Lena Bacon"
"You must be radiating feminine mystique because every man in the cafe is looking at you, and then you realize there's a TV over your head."
"Why doesn't santa have any children? 'cause he cums down the chimney"
"GF asked ""Can you hand me my shoes?"" Me: ""No, but I can feet them to you"""
"I doubt this is what the financial advisors meant when they told Lays to... adjust for inflation."
"An environmentalist group found a place with the world's highest recycling rate... /r/Jokes"