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Joke of the Day

"What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi I'll let myself out now."

"Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed? because Santa came early! I'll let myself out."

"Jesus take the wheel. No that's a book. A penny. A rock. DAMMIT JESUS DIDN'T YOU TAKE THAT ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE CLASS I RECOMMENDED"

"What's the differce between a black guy and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four!"

"Friends are like snow when you pee on them, they disappear."

"What do you call a plane's vagina? A cock pit"

"Man, my 84-year-old neighbor must REALLY like working on his car. He's been under there changing the oil for 3 days."

"Sure, racists supporting Trump doesn't mean he's racist. But, if I was painting my house and the KKK said it looked good, I'd start over."

"I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close."

"Wife: You were right. Me: Say it again. Wife: You were right. Me: Again. Wife: You were right. Me: One more time. Wife: You wer- *wakes up*"