66927

Joke of the Day

"Wife: You were right. Me: Say it again. Wife: You were right. Me: Again. Wife: You were right. Me: One more time. Wife: You wer- *wakes up*"

"""No flying cars yet?"", he wrote from a 2 inch by 4 inch pocket computer instantaneously to subscribers worldwide using only his right thumb."

"Knock knock... Who's there? *sigh* Mormons..."

"No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby."

"Lotta single women are getting a ""What's up?"" text right now."

"what do a divorce and a tornado have in common in west virginia? either way you lose the trailer"

"""Why don't Mr. and Mrs. Smokey the Bear have any children?"" ""I give up, why?"" ""Because every time Mrs. Bear gets hot Mr. Bear throws dirt on her and beats her with a shovel."""

"What did iodine say to Xenon when caesium died? Well, I guess we better Barium."

"I need help for some puns about toes! Please and thank you"

"Anyone can sit here and buy you drinks. I want to buy you dinner!"