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Joke of the Day

"Friends are like snow when you pee on them, they disappear."

"I am the all knowing oracle, you may ask me one question ""How do you pronounce quinoa?"" [it's just covered in sweat] um can u ask me another"

"I went to a zoo, but they only had one animal there. That animal was was a dog. It was a shitzu."

"There were two flies sitting on a toilet seat... one got pissed off."

"I've never seen 'Downton Abbey', but I did see the episode of 'Roseanne' when Becky ""cut the cheese"" at least 50 times."

"My shoes were meant for each other They're sole-mates"

"The teacher asked Jimmy ""Why is your cat at school today, Jimmy?"" Jimmy replied crying ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am gonna eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"""

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? Halfway"

"Ugh! I always think of the best comebacks when I'm burying the body."

"There are 4 states of Matter Solid, Liquid, Gas, and Black Lives"