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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road? because it was being chased by Mila Kunis."

"How many toes does Trump have on the outside of his body? 5. The rest are constantly in his mouth."

"""Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?"" I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed."

"Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I'll ever get to being a magician"

"Finally! A joke on here you've never heard before! That's the joke. Edit: Apparently you've heard this before. [New Punch Line] (http://i.imgur.com/rQvpv5h.jpg)"

"Why was the horse happy to come home after being released from the hospital? Because of his stable condition."

"My printer just woke from sleep mode with a huge toner."

"I said I wouldn't go drinking in public again, but here I am waiting for my kids to get out of school."

"GF: I'm leaving with the kids if you don't stop pretending our house is a hospital ME: That'll be great, we really need the beds"

"My daughter said she was in a memoir. I was intrigued until I realized what she said was meme war. Whatever tickles your fancy, Love."