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Joke of the Day

"I said I wouldn't go drinking in public again, but here I am waiting for my kids to get out of school."

"I met this really hot Geologist today. She had quite a Gneiss ass."

"Why do girls generally go to the bathroom in groups? 'Cause they're a bunch of pussies."

"I'm well versed in Mexico's version of Judo. Judo know if I got a knife... Judo know if I got a gun..."

"What is the definition of a minor 2nd chord? Two flutists playing in unison."

"[terrible nursing home] Old guy: How did you end up here? Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster."

"When I said that you'd always have a place to stay in rough times, I meant like a motel or a shelter. Anyway ... You can't stay here."

"How many white teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb ...none they would rather sit in the dark (im white teenage and mean no harm in this joke)"

"How is a man and a 45 degree angle alike? Neither of them are ever right."

"""Dad, is that a bear outside the tent?"" ""No."" ""OK."" ""Hold still."" ""What're you putting on me?"" ""Sunscreen."" ""It smells like ketchup."" ""Shhh"""