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Joke of the Day

"Why was the horse happy to come home after being released from the hospital? Because of his stable condition."

"Where do you drown hipsters? In the mainstream"

"Hmmm, why don't we try reincarnation. Here, take this razor blade and I'll leave you alone for a few moments... -me as a therapist"

"*guy getting eaten by a shark* Guy: I just wanted to say I'm Vegan. Shark, spitting him out: Wtf man. I had you in my mouth & everything."

"Short seal joke A baby seal walks into a club"

"I went to the Doctor for a checkup, and he started shoving toy horses up my ass He looked up and told me my condition was 'stable'"

"Why was Kunta Kinte such a renowned philosopher? He pondered the question ""Toby, or not Toby?"""

"[guy wearing a ski mask holds a gun to my head] ""please go skiing with me I am so alone"""

"Two girls ask if I would offer them a drink. I said sure and bought the cows some milk."

"I know why Hogwarts doesn't have math class. They have a magical device for it. It's called a calculator."