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Joke of the Day

"Q.: ""Governor, what would you say if Trump picked you as his running mate?"" Christie: ""I'll close down that bridge when I get to it."""

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"You were so beautiful, until your 30 day trial of photoshop ended."
"2 flies are sitting on a piece of poop, one cuts a fart; what did the other one say? Hey come on, I'm eating here!"
"Q: How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: WHAT?"
"VJ Day Because Hirohito was a cunt."
"I tried to hang myself with a bungee chord. I kept almost dying"
"professor gave us a 2000 word essay... So I gave him two pictures."
"What is the similarity between a weiner and a Rubik's Cube? The more you twist them the harder they get."
"I'm a genie. If you rub me, ill grant you 3 wishes."
"What happens when a frog's car breaks down? It gets toad away.."