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Joke of the Day

"Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa? Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you."

"(getting murdered) please i have a Sims family"

"You must be the square root of -1 Because you can't be real."

"Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet? Because it had too many threads."

"My father was a nun. Whenever he was up in court and the judge asked ""occupation"", he'd say ""none"". (From Blackadder Goes Forth, is this still eligible for /r/jokes?)"

"What do you call a scale that always resets itself to zero? Tareable"

"I don't hate anyone. I just don't like people."

"Being married is like playing cards If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand."

"What do you call a gay vampire? A fruit bat."

"My mom just put a pic on Facebook that says, ""Share if your daughter is beautiful AND smart."" She tagged my sister."