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Joke of the Day

"This Vietnamese couple I knew got married... Luckily for them they shared the same last name so it wasn't a big hassle for either of them. It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation."

"If you're having luftballon problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 luftballons and whatever whatever I don't speak German"

"Aww I'm sorry you're mad the world doesn't revolve around you. Here...let me pour you a nice, tall glass of Get Over It."

"Just got an email from a necrophiliac wishing me dead. Hey, thanks for the compliment!"

"""Why do people get plastic surgery? Why can't you just admit that it's over? Stop trying to look fuckable in your 50's."" @MaleHonesty86"

"What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor"

"What does a wife and a tornado have in common? They start with a blowjob then they take your house."

"Two submissives sitting in a tree. N O T H I N G"

"I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you ... even you."

"""Good morning please could I have one human ticket to the water park"" Sir are you a shark in disguise? *sharks fake eyebrows slide off*"