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Joke of the Day

"Irishman walks in to a bar HAHA! Get it? It is funny because it implies the Irishman left the bar before to be able to walk back in!"

"Why do women have orgasms? Because it's just another chance for them to moan."

"I bought a new thesaurus the other day. It's nothing to write house about."

"What's the difference between a Trump voter and a polar bear? One is a fat, white, mindless killing machine with no conscience or future, and the other is a bear."

"Jay-Z puts down his phone and rolls his eyes. ""The wife."" ""I hear that!"" says Kanye, trying do the same but accidentally going cross-eyed."

"Be that Shopping Cart with the bad wheel. Go in your own direction no matter how hard someone try's to push you in theirs."

"What's the difference between Java and JavaScript? Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are."

"What is Hillary Clinton's stance on Islamic State? That depends on what the definition of ISIS."

"What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet? Chewing gum."

"I felt sad when my girlfriend wouldn't reply to my emails I guess that was the point of no return"