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Joke of the Day

"a dog pisses on an ant... and the ant says ""hey watch it!"" and the dog says ""i don't have a watch"""

"Restaurant owner warns his employee: ""one must open oysters carefully""... The employee answers: ""no shucking fit!"""

"What does a wife and a tornado have in common? They start with a blowjob then they take your house."

"I came up with an original word yesterday... ...plagiarism."

"My dad walked in while I zoomed in on Street fighter Dad: ""Damn son, that girl has some big 'ol titties!"" Me: ""Dad.......thats E. Honda"""

"""I want u so badly"" - Scrabble players with a q in their rack."

"What dance did the Pilgrims do? The Plymouth Rock."

"Sportscenter, episode 542783747363467367984768474756431063389425993399064375493638386747899532689432462567953467347: Men talking animatedly."

"What do you call someone with herpes, AIDS, syphilis and gonorrhea? An incurable romantic."

"Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken."