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Joke of the Day

"TV is the best girlfriend Because, no matter what happens, I can always turn it on."

"Let's make this house party... a *home* party."

"i could miss 4 days of school in a row in HS and have all A's and you zone out for 38 seconds in college and ur grade goes from a B to a G"

"It must really suck to be an Atheist named ""Christian""."

"""What are you doing, dad?"" ""Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling ""non-extraditable countries"". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"""

"what's the difference between mean and morbid? mean: five children in one dustbin morbid: one child in five dustbins"

"What do you call a person of Irish and Asian descent? Rice Paddy. - Edit: Credit goes to my nickname from some clever fucker classmate when I was a kid."

"A funny knock knock joke I've heard awhile ago... *knock* *knock* who's there? Doctor Doctor who? ...exactly!"

"How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room, because it's black."

"(Dirty) joke from 14th century (or maybe even older) What is long and likes to pry in a hole? A key."