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Joke of the Day

"The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through (spoilers) Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said ""Can I have a word?"""

"Why wont Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? Because it's too cubed!"

"""Tender and mild"" is a great way to describe chicken and a TERRIBLE way to describe a holy infant."

"[on a date] Play it cool don't let her know you're a refrigerator [her ex-boyfriend turns off the electricity] ""This isn't cool man."""

"It's cool to jump out of bed and realize you are already dressed to run to Walmart"

"Wanna hear something gross about USA? $18.124 trillion"

"So, Pee Wee Herman announced he has converted to Islam He's currently planning a pilgrimage to Mecca Lecca Hi Mecca Hiney Ho."

"My ex wife died so I went to the cemetery and to honor her, I poured a fine, 12 year old bottle of scotch on her grave. But first I filtered it through my kidneys. EDIT: Holy crap! Front page!!!"

"When the cat's away.....? The house smells better !"

"What is a Mexican weather report? Chilli today hot tamale."