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Joke of the Day

"Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I'm pretty sure she'll figure out that I'm just after my money."

"My favorite mixed drink is the M. Night Shyamalan. It's nothing with a twist."

"How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that's a hardware issue."

"Having kids is like being at a press conference: ""No, you can't put the dog in the washer - next question."" ""No, you can't really fly -next"""

"I don't think peeing on a goose is the right answer.. But on the other hand.. I'm not sure it's the WRONG answer. -Drunk me at a zoo"

"Why did the anthropologist eat a lot of yogurt? So that he could understand culture."

"How do you make a pheromone? Let his people go!"

"What's black and smells like people? Black People"

"I just recently became a vegetarian. I quit meat cold tofu."

"INCREASINGLY DESPERATE GOOGLE SEARCH FOR ""HOW MANY SHADOWS SHOULD I HAVE?"""