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Joke of the Day

"I don't think peeing on a goose is the right answer.. But on the other hand.. I'm not sure it's the WRONG answer. -Drunk me at a zoo"

"An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either."

"How many electrons does a negatively charged oxygen atom have? Nion"

"My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese. As if she doesn't have enough on her plate."

"If I ever get arrested, my one phone call will be to the police station to do a bomb scare. I'm not spending the night there."

"I'm nog saying your mom's a slut but when you were born she did slid you in and out a few times"

"Two men just got away with the largest Viagra heist in history. Police say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals."

"I'm curious about the first person who saw an egg drop out of a chicken & said, ""I'm going to eat that."""

"You know why women are bad at parking? Because they are constantly lied to about what 8 inches is."

"I hope that bee enjoyed the close-up of my face because that's the last thing he ever saw. #rip"