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Joke of the Day

"My favorite mixed drink is the M. Night Shyamalan. It's nothing with a twist."

"What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA!"

"I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his Lil mind"

"TRIGGER WARNING National Rifle Association of America"

"Hey kids! Make your voice heard this election day by hiding your parents identification! (Not applicable in some states)"

"Working with underprivileged children is really rewarding because I get to tell people about it."

"I went to the gym today. Just kidding, I walked down the block and yelled at the neighbor kids for screaming while I'm trying to nap."

"if I ever go missing, it won't be hiking. you guys don't even have to look there."

"DIVORCE Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, because they never get the house."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I'm not going to jelly my dick in your ass."