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Joke of the Day

"How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that's a hardware issue."

"Now that I have an adult coloring book, most arguments with my 3 yr old are over fridge space."

"Said she was gonna send a pic of her ""backyard' . Turns out we weren't on the same page"

"If I exit the bathroom stall singing ""Break On Through (To The Other Side)"", it's best to avoid shaking my hand."

"So Donald Trump was pounding this chick and she started moaning ""oh daddy!"" Then he said, ""I know I am your daddy Ivanka"""

"Abortion - it really brings out the child in you. Anyone got any similar puns? Also: - 9/11 jokes are just plane rude."

"What did the one banana say to the other banana who had his feelings hurt? I know that peel."

"JESUS: [walks on water] JUDAS: Actually, the body is 60% water so it's only 40% miracle JESUS: You're killing me, Judas JUDAS: Actually.."

"Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is"

"Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don't want to look at you."