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Joke of the Day

"Steven Gerard has finished his book about his football career, the problem is that he hasn't got a Title..."

"I have never met a farmer that isn't pro tractor"

"What do you call Adrian Monk when he's angry? Rasputin"

"Why can't you fool an aborted baby? They weren't born yesterday."

"If you want to work for a company that makes moisturiser, the best thing to do is to apply daily."

"I work at a restaurant and one of the chefs there is both dyslexic and epileptic. Ended up sending out a chicken seizure salad."

"Why didn't the Mexican go bow hunting? Because he didn't habanero."

"What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets? The kind that's always shooting his mouth off."

"How did the blonde burn her ear? The telephone rang while she was ironing."

"Did you hear about Father Dickinson? He had to leave the church after being accused of incest and pedophilia"