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Joke of the Day

"What do you call Adrian Monk when he's angry? Rasputin"

"Italian WWII Tank for Sale It has 5 speeds; 4 are reverse."

"Calm down with that charm bracelet, lady. Every time you move your hand I look around for Santa's sleigh."

"I nominate Chris Brown to dump a bucket of boiling hot water on himself & to raise awareness for domestic violence."

"Magician: ""Think of a card."" Me: ""Okay."" Magician: ""You are thinking of the.. 3 OF SPADES!"" Me: ""I was thinking about a get well soon card."""

"If insanity is doing the same thing over & over and expecting different results, I must be sane cause I don't even like doing things once."

"How do you seperate the men from the boys? A crowbar."

"How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes."

"Why did the hen fall in the well? she couldn't see that well"

"Hey ladies, tired of your boyfriend complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints."