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Joke of the Day
"Why didn't the Mexican go bow hunting? Because he didn't habanero."
Next Joke
"We can play Yahtzee again. -You fixed the broken dice? Yeah. And they'll never break again. -How do you know? *grins* Die mends are forever."
"I wanted to stop for McDonald's this morning but the line was too wide."
"Do fish get thirsty?"
"I once asked a girl out on a date to perform in my favorite hobby. She demanded there be no strings attached We had a shit day flying kites"
"The bank robbery would have ended much better for me if I hadn't stopped on the way out at the ATM to deposit the money."
"Why cant clinton stand straight? Because she is Crooked."
"""You have to be pretty bad at math to use a calculator to check 3rd grade homework."" -My smartass kid to me just now."
"HER: your phone is exacerbating our problems *i pick up my phone* HER: your behavior is untenable ""hold on I'm still googling exacerbate"""
"It doesn't matter where you are, an old lady is about to be in your way."