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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you fool an aborted baby? They weren't born yesterday."

"There's a knock at my door. Jehovah's Witness. I decided to let him in. I go, ""Now what?"" He says, ""I dunno...I never got this far."""

"My husband got some virtual reality goggles for christmas and so far I like them because they make him very vulnerable to attack."

"Another Sunday at Gym Church w/ Pastor Pumpz. We sang ""My Bod is an Awesome Bod"", ""Bod is Great Bod is Good"", and ""Be Thou My Protein"""

"When I asked if you'd like to go out on a date sometime, I meant with me."

"Two retarded people are having sex. I guess you could say they were going downs on each other."

"People are always asking me why I named my pet newt 'Tiny' It's because he's my newt. ^minute ^^means ^^^small"

"What's the difference between a Priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13"

"Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it? NO, SENSEI! Gluten sensitivity does not exist in this dojo,does it? Put your hand down Aiyden"

"Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday."