111761

Joke of the Day

"I once swallowed two separate strings and they came out of my ass tied together. I shit you knot."

"How are feminists and bad hacker groups similar? Both can't take down anything."

"What did the surfer say when he visited Syria? This place is totally radical!"

"In 1000 years, archaeologists will find tanning beds and think we fried people as punishments."

"Q: What's green and has wheels? A: Grass. I lied about the wheels."

"*wife comes out in a robe* I'm hiding your present Yes it's wrapped Nooo, it's not in the fridge [5 minutes later] IT'S NOT IN THE FRIDGE!"

"Why don't feminists carry handguns? Because of the triggers"

"Q. How do you make holy water? A. Boil the hell out of it."

"My irony detector is defective. It detects everything except irony."

"What do you call a stolen Tesla? An Edison"