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Joke of the Day

"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Cause Jewish women won't take anything unless its 10% off."

"What's a dead baby's favorite holiday beverage? Infanticider."

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon. Ones fun to smash with a mallet and the other ones a dead baby."

"When a cashier asks me if I found everything I was looking for, I take their hand, look deeply into their eyes and say, ""I have now."""

"Why-Fi: The existential Internet connection."

"I got raped by a troupe of mimes last night They performed unspeakable acts."

"Australia wants to secede from the Commonwealth to distance itself from the British Monarchy... It will no longer be a kingdom and it can't be a principality, so it has to be a country."

"What do you call a porno set in space. Apollo 13 inches"

"I just saved 57 dollars on my groceries without a single coupon. Self checkouts are awesome."

"Britain has invented a new missile It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired."