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Joke of the Day

"Wearing crocs is like getting a blowjob from a guy... it feels good until you look down and realize you're gay."

"- do u like green eggs & ham? - i do not like them, sam i am - but why? - animal agriculture leads to global warming sam read a goddamn book"

"If at first you don't succeed, Skydiving isn't for you."

"My friend gave me an EpiPen as he was dying. He must have *really* wanted me to have it."

"America is converting to metric units... inch by inch."

"Obama and Jesus What's the difference between Obama and Jesus? Jesus could at least make a cabinet."

"A ship carrying blue paint has collided with a ship carrying red paint in the English Channel. 32 sailors have been marooned"

"My Jewish friend was having trouble with his homework..... I guess he needed more concentration."

"I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team Because I hate dealing with parents."

"Apologies to Rudyard Kipling but . . . If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs. . . . maybe you don't understand the gravity of the situation."