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Joke of the Day

"Apologies to Rudyard Kipling but . . . If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs. . . . maybe you don't understand the gravity of the situation."

"Dear girls, Santa saw your Facebook page, you're getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas."

"Why does ISIS call camels ""Ships of the Desert""? Because they are full of ISIS seamen."

"How do skeletons reproduce? They bone."

"My daughter does this thing where she copies EVERYTHING the dog does; Bark, beg, fetch etc. It was adorable! Until the dog humped the couch"

"What do you call a black woman whose had an abortion? A crimefighter"

"What do you get when you mix /r/pokemon and /r/gonewild? PP up"

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table."

"My wife told me ""Sex is better on holiday"". That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive."

"Where do poor meatballs live? The Spaghetto."