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Joke of the Day

"""No, you hang up"" No, you hang up. ""No, you hang up"" No, you hang up. ""No you hang up"" *slams phone* Why do I keep calling that parrot?!"

"A man walks into a zoo. The only animal there is a dog. It is a shih tzu."

"Wearing high heels and releasing doves at weddings are so last century. I'll be wearing running shoes and releasing chickens at mine"

"I think the Wu Tang clan is a Chinese organized crime family trying to wrestle control of the orange drink market from the ""Sunni D"" family"

"I was just watching some porn and I've got to tell you, I don't think those girls were REALLY studying before they started fooling around."

"My God: dead. My world: disenchanted. My invitation on LinkedIn: declined."

"Her: Couldn't you have picked a better record to beat? Me: *covered in 13,000 bees* There's no way this can end badly, Susan."

"""Daddy, how do stars die?"" ""Why do you ask, Sun?"""

"How does a burger acquire good taste? With a little seasoning!"

"Boss: ""late again I see"" Brain: think of a good excuse! Mouth: ""your moms late."" Brain: wow...."