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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? one's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The cock came first."

"I went to buy a Christmas tree today The cashier asked me, ""Will you be putting that up yourself?"" I reply, ""No you sick fuck I'll be putting it up in my living room!"""

"(._.) ( I: ) (.-.) ( :I ) (._.) They see me rollin', they hatin'"

"I was raised as an only child. My siblings took it pretty hard."

"What's the best thing to put into a pizza? Your teeth."

"TIL reddit automatically change your password to asterisks whenever you type it in a comment."

"I have an ungodly amount of Taco Bell hot sauce packets for being a grown woman who's nutritionally responsible for two children."

"You can pour up to 12 bowls of salad in your sweats before they kick you out of the Olive Garden."

"What do they always forget to do after filming a season of Game of Thrones? The last one out is meant to get the Wights"