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Joke of the Day

"No one talks to you on the bus when you're shaking a box of Milk Duds that your head phones are plugged into."

"I was charged for dental floss during my most recent visit to the dentist. The dentist said he was changing the office's philos phy"

"Why did the can crusher quit his job? It was soda pressing."

"What's red, white, and full of holes? Helen Keller's face after she tries to use a fork."

"U U U U U U An American's tile rack after a Scrabble game."

"My niece just asked for ""cow juice."" So adorable!!! I gave her a styrofoam tray of hamburger blood."

"I was in an AWESOME undercover band once No one was sure if we were The Police."

"They say Trump isn't appealing to minorities... ...but according to the latest polls, he's winning 100% of the Naive American vote"

"How do you get a fat girl into your bed? Piece of cake..."

"My ultimate dream is to move back home, open up a bar and run it with all of my friends, and then burn it down for the insurance money"