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Joke of the Day

"I dated a schizophrenic once... ...but I had to break it off because he kept seeing other people."

"2 eggs were on a frying pan One of them says: ""Gee, it's really hot in here!"" The other egg says: ""HOLY CRAP, A TALKING EGG!"""

"A little boy walks into a bar... he is treated for minor concussions... it's funny cause he's a minor, laugh"

"Want to hear a joke? Women's Rights"

"Why did Bob disagree with communism? He thought it was such Bolshevik."

"Don't you get it man? Every single person who has discovered the identity of who let the dogs out has been brutally murdered."

"Gonna buy an old beat up car for the sole purpose of rear ending the hell outta people I let over and don't get the thank you wave."

"Santa's sack is on the sleigh... Q.-Why is Santa Claus's sack so big and heavy ? A.-Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it is down a chimney!"

"So I recently opened a suicide bomb shop in Syria, and it's doing great! Prophets are going through the roof."

"My 6 year old son told me this, ""what did one ocean say to the other?"". Nothing, he just waved."