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Joke of the Day
"I dated a schizophrenic once... ...but I had to break it off because he kept seeing other people."
Next Joke
"What instrument does the uterus play? The fallopian tuba."
"Bombing Terrorists in Baghdad recently blew up a drainage system. Police there are calling it a sewer-side bombing.."
"Knock Knock. Who's there? A lazy person. A lazy person who? You guys can fill in the rest for yourselves."
"The Flash is lucky because he can run real fast but also because he lives in a world where every problem can be solved by running real fast."
"I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week."
"According to Facebook a bunch of handsome dudes got together and decided to marry all my ex-girlfriends"
"How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four. One to screw in the light bulb and three to talk about how Neil Peart could've done it better."
"The man who invented Velcro has died. RIP"
"At this point, I'm positive I've read the entire Bible via Facebook status updates. *crosses off bucket list*"