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Joke of the Day

"You guys should stop with the 9/11 jokes. I think they're PLANE wrong! *sigh* EDIT: GRAMMAR CORRECTION"

"No one will ever be as excited as a dad that just drove somewhere in less time than the GPS said it would take."

"What is the most positive thing in Africa? HIV"

"They put babies on packages of toilet paper because that's what we used to wipe with before scientists discovered they grow up into people"

"A modern recasting of Moses floating down a river in a wicker basket but it's a soccer mom forgetting her baby on the roof of her van."

"How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!"

"What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country."

"Got any spare change? No, Im an athiest. Can you give me a hand? No, Im an athiest. Hows the weather? Sorry, Im an athiest. - Athiests"

"How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You say ""Pikachu, GET THE FUCK ON THAT BUS!"""

"""So kids, I was married to your mom & I met this girl on Twitter, we started DMing and one thing led to another"" -How I Met Your Stepmother"