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Joke of the Day

"Is it rude to give a copy of photoshop at a baby shower? It's just that I know what both parents look like they're gonna need it."

"How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it..."

"If your Dad leaves, just act like you're installing a new screen door. All the Dads of the neighborhood will gather round. Pick your new Dad"

"If you're afraid of elevators Take steps to avoid them."

"My phone just replaced the word ""killed"" with ""kilt."" Well plaid, phone... Well plaid."

"Tweeting this from the bathroom because it's the 21st century and that's what we do now."

"What's it called when you get a boner on a movie set? A direction"

"What would MLK be if he was alive? White"

"Never believe what a fish says It sounds fishy.... ... sorry"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Barry ! Barry who ? Barry the dead !"