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Joke of the Day

"What do you call sliding into home plate, on a green field in Mexico? Muchas Grassy-ass. I'm sorry."

"What do you call immigrants to Sweden? Artificial Swedeners"

"I'm not a quitter. ""Lights cigarette"""

"What does a lawyer and a prostitute have in common? They both fuck you for your money."

"They said I'd miss my family I never miss at close range."

"What is the name of Woody Woodpecker's girlfriend? Suzie Splintercunt."

"Jim: I'm totally spacing out on a word. Me: OK J: What's that awful thing called... M: ... J: You wake up with it after you drink? M: Linda."

"What is Al Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets"

"My friend told me that she wanted to give me a deep throat blow job today. ""Really!?"" I asked. ""No,"" she replied, ""April Fogarbnsrgabsjg...."" That'll teach her to try to be funny..."

"What did Olivia Newton-John say to her doctor? Lets get physical!"