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Joke of the Day

"What do you call sliding into home plate, on a green field in Mexico? Muchas Grassy-ass. I'm sorry."

"Harry and Jerry Harry is at home and his door is locked. Jerry come in Harry says, ""Who are you and how did you get here"" Jerry says, ""I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith"""

"I tried to fix my shovel today, but I just couldn't handle it."

"Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms."

"Please don't tell me about your methods of increasing drag on your car It would be a spoiler alert"

"What is the pirate's favourite letter? C"

"How did the Italian die? Talking while driving."

"Just once when someone says, ""Is anyone there?"" in a scary movie, I want the villain to be like. ""What up. I'm over here. You got me."""

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish."

"Abstinence-only education... Was the first time I got screwed."