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Joke of the Day

"Why does our body absorb Strontium? To make our bones stronger"

"How many Scots didn't turn up to vote? One in Fife"

"Hey Shakespeare, are you writing your next play in pentameter? Iamb."

"For Sale: 5yr old BMW Turn signals like new!"

"*text message* Cat: Slave, I'm missing a box. I had 2 & now I have 1. I blame the dogs. Find it. Me: but I'm at work. Cat: find it."

"A midget was escaping prison... A midget was escaping prison. I watched him as he climbed over the fence. On the way down he smirked at me. I thought to myself, ""well that's a little condescending""."

"What's the only animal with two assholes; One regular one and one on its back? A police horse. Sorry, drunk regular at my local dive bar told me this. I enjoyed it."

"What gets all sweaty as it rides on top of you? Your backpack."

"Let's vote the pool water off that celebrity diving show."

"I've never liked new years at time square They always drop the ball"